Home > Uncategorized > Douchebaguettes : They are everywhere!

Douchebaguettes : They are everywhere!

After the unexpected great success of the “How to spot a douchebag” post, i had the initial plan of a post about “How to spot an arab douchebag” but then i thought i’d venture into the female side of this all : Douchebaguettes!! Truth is, they really are everywhere! I truly believe that they over shadow their male counter parts with their douchebaginess! Here’s how to spot one!

Douchebaguette loves the Fishy Face

Douchebaguette loves to go around the city in her Juicy Couture sweat suit! Hip bones MUST SHOW. Like her male counterpart, she will most probably be wearing a Ed Hardy cap to go along with that pink outfit. Cap will definitely be worn sideways.

Douchebaguette loves to pose for pics.   Fishy face or no fishy face, she will always attempt to stand out in a pic. Leg raised. Boobs squashed. Tongue out. Her “Look at me me me me me me me” methods are endless.


Douchebaguette will take pics of her self at least 56354 times a day! She will pose in a car. She will pose in the bathroom. She will pose in her bed. She will pose at the hairdresser. She will pose while taking a dump for all she cares!! As long as they are eventually posted on every social media tool out there, douchebaguette is happy.


Douchebaguette will update her bbm/fb/twitter status every 5 fucking seconds!! She will bore you to death with every detail of her freaking day!! Douchebaguette is a STATUS WHORE!!

“JUST WOKE UP. GOOD MORNING PPL”
“I HATE THE TRAFFIC!!!!!”
“GOD ITS SOOO HOT!!” – You live in Dubai. GET OVER THE FREAKIN’ HEAT!!
“I’M SAD =( “
“WHY CAN’T I SLEEEEEP???”
“OMG THE ROOF IS ON FIRE!!”
“I MISS HIM =(“
“WEL3AAAAAANEH” –> Lebanese Douchebaguette
“YAY I LOVE SHOPPING. GUCCI HERE I COME”
“O M GEEEE I LOVE TO TAN”
“BOUDOIR TONIGHT WOOOHOOOO”
“DANCEFLOOR TABLE! YEAH BABY!!”
“IM GOING TO SLEEP, GNIGHT WORLD”
“SUSHI!! YUM YUM!!”
“YA ALLAH IM SOOOO BOOOORED”
“YAY I LOVE KIDS!! I WANT TO HAVE KIDS!!!”
And the list goes on.

Douchebaguette will tan excessively. Like her male counterpart, she will spend every breathing second of her free time tanning. Douchebagutte will most probably have a membership at some tanning salon. Douchebaguette refuses to see that she is way too tanned and that she looks like burnt monkey ass! She denies that her color is now RED/ORANGE! This disease is better known as “Douchebagitis”

Douchebaguette is always slutty looking. Douchebaguette is an attention whore! Tightest pants possible. Shortest skirt possible. Cleavage is a must. Excessive make up. Nails done. Hair done. Everything big (Thank you Drake).

Douchebaguette will ALWAYS be surrounded with douchebags!!! ALWAYS!


Douchebaguette will always criticise other women! No matter what the case is, the other women is always slutty/annoying/bitchy. She will never complement other women!

Douchebaguette will have very low self-esteem. She may look like she’s the most confident human being to walk this planet, but rest assured that she cries herself to sleep.

Douchebaguette will be surrounded with equally looking douchebaguettes. Like douchebags, these females hang out in packs.


Douchebaguette is all about the bling bling. You will find nothing from Mango, Zara or Massimo Dutti in her closet. It’s all about the Gucci, The LV, The Dior. She owns bags that are expensive enough to feed a family for a whole year. Expensive watches. Expensive Shoes. She will only hang out with douchebags that book dance floor tables. Please note that some douchebaguettes own FAKE stuff. Not all douchebaguettes are “Daddy’s little girl”

Douchebaguette refuses to educate her self with a book. Her idea of reading is scanning through VOGUE for the latest fashion trends.

Douchebagutte will engage with anyone who comments on her status. Douchebaguette will turn this status into a discussion forum.

Douchebaguette will post a pic of herself then add a caption that says “OMG I LOOK SO BAD HERE”. A silent cry for compliments.

Douchebaguette will post something to Facebook and then LIKE IT!

Douchebaguette’s marital status on Facebook will be “Married to Best Friend”

Douchebaguette will add a “LOL” to everything!! “I DID MY HAIR!! LOL”

Douchebaguette will wRIte HeR sTAtuS LiKe DiS!!

Douchebaguette does not realise that “Their, They’re and There” are NOT  interchangeable!

75% of Douchebaguettes are 90% plastic!

Again, this list is endless! I could go on and on and on. Im sure you guys have more comments on what a Douchebaguette is like, so hit me back with your input and ill surely update this!

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  1. ThisIsRasha
    June 5, 2011 at 1:03 pm

    Douchebaguette’s bf waxes his chest, and has super thin eyebrows.

    Douchebaguettes has a smart phone with a tacky Swarovsky crystalized cover – possibly a hello kitty design.

    Doubaguette’s favorite book is ‘Why men love bitches’

  2. June 5, 2011 at 2:07 pm

    Douchebaguette doesn’t read Vogue. She reads People, and UsWeekly.

  3. jessy
    June 5, 2011 at 2:39 pm

    i just read this blog *LOL* (douchebaguette stylee)

  4. June 5, 2011 at 6:45 pm

    Hahahahahahaahaha!!! I’m laughing hysterically reading this!!

  5. Othman
    June 6, 2011 at 4:20 am

    update with more arab douchbaguette pics 😉

    • Harkous
      June 6, 2011 at 12:45 pm

      la la la dakheelak! it’ll cause drama!! haha

  6. ThisIsT
    June 30, 2011 at 10:28 am

    douchbaguette will have black lipliner – preferably running just under her nostrils. And she will fill it with glossy pink. when douchebaguette gets a little drunk the glossy pink rubs off leaving an interesting black shape around her mouth not much unlike a gothic clown mouth

  1. July 18, 2011 at 1:46 pm

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