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Bro Tips

What is a “Bro”?

A bro is a friend, but he’s not just any kind of friend. A bro someone who will always be there for you. He will help you get laid. He will have your back in a fight. He will bend over backwards to help you bend someone else over backwards. He will drive you home after a long drunken night. But most importantly, a “Bro” is someone who will tell it to you like it is. No sugar-coated shit. No two-faced convos. Just plain ol’ truth! Even a girl can be your “Bro”. Just make sure you don’t want to get into her pants.

So here i am being a BRO to each and every single one of you!

100 tips that will always come in handy. Always.

  1. if a chick is nice to you but to not to anyone else, she’s not nice
  2. you don’t always have to get the last word. make your point and leave it at that
  3. turning every facebook status into a political debate does not make you an intellectual. it makes you a prick
  4. don’t do the same shit and expect different results
  5. never try to act like a chick’s ex. they broke up for a reason
  6. if someone offers you gum, assume they’re trying to tell you something and take it
  7. when a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she’s either really interested or you’re level 99 friend-zoned!
  8. if the person you’re dating isn’t who you used to know, maybe they should be someone you used to know
  9. when a girl starts a sentence with, “i like you, but…” you better believe she’s never going to date you
  10. if you’re getting tired of telling the same story, people are probably getting tired of hearing it too, bro!
  11. future you depends on current you not to fuck up
  12. your dick belongs in your pants, not in your personality
  13. never fight with a bro when a well-placed “you’re a dick, dude” will do
  14. if they only like you when they’re drunk, they don’t like you
  15. saying, “lets still be friends” after a bad break-up is like saying, “the dog died, but we can still keep it.”
  16. you don’t have to jump on every internet bandwagon you come across
  17. don’t be the group’s bitch. if you are, you’re in the wrong group
  18. if your only come back is, “fuck you” then you probably lost this fight, bro!
  19. if a bro’s girlfriend asks you questions about him, play dumb. it’s up to him to come clean, not you
  20. if she’s got naked pictures of herself  in her phone that you didn’t get, there’s a possibility that someone else did
  21. know the difference between saying yes & being walked over, and between saying no and being a dick
  22. don’t judge people by their music……………………….. unless they listen to justin bieber
  23. your jeans should never be tighter that your girlfriend’s
  24. being sarcastic all the time doesn’t make you seem smarter. it just makes you sound like a dick
  25. the “shirtless in the mirror” shot is the guy version of the duck face. steer clear of it
  26. don’t stick your dick in crazy
  27. it’s better to be known for who you are than who you do
  28. if you don’t care if people think you’re being a dick, then you’re probably being a dick
  29. when someone tries to pick a fight with you over bullshit, stay chill. let petty people win petty arguments.
  30. if your life is all about getting drunk and screwing things, congrats. you’re a fucking tool
  31. meeting her family for the first time is a crucial as meeting her for the first time. don’t screw it up
  32. if having a girlfriend means not having any friends, you might have to decide which is more important
  33. before you spill everything over text, remember that people can screenshot anything
  34. when you’re always acting cocky, expect someone to call you on it. the nail that sticks out gets hammered
  35. if you go somewhere because you think it’ll be full of chicks, you’ll probably just find guys also looking for chicks
  36. eye contact is good. staring is creepy
  37. don’t be a joke. don’t be a push-over. there’s a middle ground between douchebag and punching bag
  38. if she’s laughing even when your jokes are not funny, she’s interested
  39. using one chick to get to another doesn’t work in the movies and it doesn’t work in real life
  40. if you’re gonna shove a “holier than thou” attitude up everyone’s face, be sure to apply the same to your everyday life. Don’t be a hypocrite.
  41. if you’ve got something to say, say it to their face.
  42. you can’t be “ballin” with your parents’ money
  43. there’s a thin line between being respectful and being someone’s bitch
  44. if everyone is your enemy, you might just be a dick head
  45. jealousy is an ugly trait. if you can’t do what someone else can, the least you can do is be supportive
  46. you never know the person you were dating’s true colors until you get married or break up
  47. an ex girlfriend is like jail. if you keep going back, there must be something you haven’t learned
  48. talk less; do more
  49. don’t let the new chick suffer from the last chick’s mistakes
  50. popped collars. simply, no
  51. on showering, shaving and hooking up : if you start with anything but the face, you’re doing it in the wrong order
  52. if you can see your belt, your shirt is too small
  53. don’t mourn your break-up; celebrate your freedom
  54. starting your sentence with the phrase, “with all due respect,” doesn’t mean you can be a dick immediately afterwards
  55. the longer you stay in the friend zone, the harder it is to get out
  56. if no one laughed the first time, don’t repeat it
  57. usually, the more someone talks about sex, the less they actually have of it
  58. bringing up past relationships on the first date could end up making it your only date
  59. respect a bro that asks for help. and help him
  60. never let a girl leaving you for a douche turn you into one. it’s a never-ending douche-making cycle
  61. while making out, gradually pushing her face towards your lap does not increase your chances of getting head
  62. the easiest way to keep people from getting involved in your personal problems is not to post them on the internet
  63. family first
  64. everybody makes mistakes. try not to date them
  65. if you’ve got a choice between making a scene and making an exit, find the nearest door
  66. nice guys don’t finish last. quitters do
  67. don’t chase; replace
  68. the assumptions you make about someone should never be based on what you’ve heard
  69. if you’re the only one in the room with your bro and his girl, leave
  70. ignoring somebody’s phone call or text and then posting on twitter is pretty much asking them to bitch you out
  71. the quiet ones are the kinkiest
  72. don’t let your relationship problems fuck up everybody’s night
  73. if you let a bro borrow some cash and never see him again, it was money well spent
  74. always greet your bro’s new girl with, “so this is who you’re always telling me about!” regardless of if you’re heard of her
  75. don’t sleep with anything you don’t want to wake up next to
  76. calm down and walk away. sometimes it’s better to let your ego take hits, rather than your face
  77. it always sucks to hear, but: move.the.fuck.on.bro.
  78. driving is cool. drinking is whatever. doing both is never okay
  79. someone who talks shit with you will most likely be the person that talks shit about you
  80. a friend will tell you what you want to hear. a bro will tell you what you need to hear
  81. the internet is not a place to have an argument
  82. you either make shit happen, watch shit happen or not know what fucking happened
  83. her adding you on facebook doesn’t automatically mean she wants to screw you
  84. “ex” is short for “example”. your ex is an example of someone who isn’t good for you
  85. apologizing doesn’t mean you’re wrong. it’s a bros way of saying “i care about this bromance more than my ego”
  86. no one gives a shit how trashed you got last night. shut the fuck up about it.
  87. if you talk shit about your friends, you eventually won’t have any to talk shit about
  88. being passive-aggressive never helps anything, unless you wanted to seem like a dick head
  89. karma is a bitch. specially if you are
  90. clothing is optional. deodorant is not
  91. i swear there will be other girls in your life
  92. the only acceptable reason to let anyone tell you when or what to shave is if they’re putting their  mouth there immediately afterwards.
  93. know the difference between affection and pity. both when giving and receiving
  94. would you like your bro to date your ex? Exactly.
  95. as soon as you realize that you fucked up, admit it. it’ll make things ten times easier if you do
  96. posting depressing song lyrics on facebook or twitter will make people want to punch you
  97. treat your beliefs like you treat your penis. be proud of it, but don’t shove it down people’s throats
  98. if you can’t change your situation, change your attitude
  99. if she cheated with you, she’ll cheat on you
  100. never hit your girl. ever.

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