Bro Tips

What is a “Bro”?

A bro is a friend, but he’s not just any kind of friend. A bro someone who will always be there for you. He will help you get laid. He will have your back in a fight. He will bend over backwards to help you bend someone else over backwards. He will drive you home after a long drunken night. But most importantly, a “Bro” is someone who will tell it to you like it is. No sugar-coated shit. No two-faced convos. Just plain ol’ truth! Even a girl can be your “Bro”. Just make sure you don’t want to get into her pants.

So here i am being a BRO to each and every single one of you!

100 tips that will always come in handy. Always.

1. if a chick is nice to you but to not to anyone else, she’s not nice
2. you don’t always have to get the last word. make your point and leave it at that
3. turning every facebook status into a political debate does not make you an intellectual. it makes you a prick
4. don’t do the same shit and expect different results
5. never try to act like a chick’s ex. they broke up for a reason
6. if someone offers you gum, assume they’re trying to tell you something and take it
7. when a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she’s either really interested or you’re level 99 friend-zoned!
8. if the person you’re dating isn’t who you used to know, maybe they should be someone you used to know
9. when a girl starts a sentence with, “i like you, but…” you better believe she’s never going to date you
10. if you’re getting tired of telling the same story, people are probably getting tired of hearing it too, bro!
11. future you depends on current you not to fuck up
12. your dick belongs in your pants, not in your personality
13. never fight with a bro when a well-placed “you’re a dick, dude” will do
14. if they only like you when they’re drunk, they don’t like you
15. saying, “lets still be friends” after a bad break-up is like saying, “the dog died, but we can still keep it.”
16. you don’t have to jump on every internet bandwagon you come across
17. don’t be the group’s bitch. if you are, you’re in the wrong group
18. if your only come back is, “fuck you” then you probably lost this fight, bro!
19. if a bro’s girlfriend asks you questions about him, play dumb. it’s up to him to come clean, not you
20. if she’s got naked pictures of herself  in her phone that you didn’t get, there’s a possibility that someone else did
21. know the difference between saying yes & being walked over, and between saying no and being a dick
22. don’t judge people by their music……………………….. unless they listen to justin bieber
23. your jeans should never be tighter that your girlfriend’s
24. being sarcastic all the time doesn’t make you seem smarter. it just makes you sound like a dick
25. the “shirtless in the mirror” shot is the guy version of the duck face. steer clear of it
26. don’t stick your dick in crazy
27. it’s better to be known for who you are than who you do
28. if you don’t care if people think you’re being a dick, then you’re probably being a dick
29. when someone tries to pick a fight with you over bullshit, stay chill. let petty people win petty arguments.
30. if your life is all about getting drunk and screwing things, congrats. you’re a fucking tool
31. meeting her family for the first time is a crucial as meeting her for the first time. don’t screw it up
32. if having a girlfriend means not having any friends, you might have to decide which is more important
33. before you spill everything over text, remember that people can screenshot anything
34. when you’re always acting cocky, expect someone to call you on it. the nail that sticks out gets hammered
35. if you go somewhere because you think it’ll be full of chicks, you’ll probably just find guys also looking for chicks
36. eye contact is good. staring is creepy
37. don’t be a joke. don’t be a push-over. there’s a middle ground between douchebag and punching bag
38. if she’s laughing even when your jokes are not funny, she’s interested
39. using one chick to get to another doesn’t work in the movies and it doesn’t work in real life
40. if you’re gonna shove a “holier than thou” attitude up everyone’s face, be sure to apply the same to your everyday life. Don’t be a hypocrite.
41. if you’ve got something to say, say it to their face.
42. you can’t be “ballin” with your parents’ money
43. there’s a thin line between being respectful and being someone’s bitch
44. if everyone is your enemy, you might just be a dick head
45. jealousy is an ugly trait. if you can’t do what someone else can, the least you can do is be supportive
46. you never know the person you were dating’s true colors until you get married or break up
47. an ex girlfriend is like jail. if you keep going back, there must be something you haven’t learned
48. talk less; do more
49. don’t let the new chick suffer from the last chick’s mistakes
50. popped collars. simply, no
51. on showering, shaving and hooking up : if you start with anything but the face, you’re doing it in the wrong order
52. if you can see your belt, your shirt is too small
53. don’t mourn your break-up; celebrate your freedom
54. starting your sentence with the phrase, “with all due respect,” doesn’t mean you can be a dick immediately afterwards
55. the longer you stay in the friend zone, the harder it is to get out
56. if no one laughed the first time, don’t repeat it
57. usually, the more someone talks about sex, the less they actually have of it
58. bringing up past relationships on the first date could end up making it your only date
59. respect a bro that asks for help. and help him
60. never let a girl leaving you for a douche turn you into one. it’s a never-ending douche-making cycle
61. while making out, gradually pushing her face towards your lap does not increase your chances of getting head
62. the easiest way to keep people from getting involved in your personal problems is not to post them on the internet
63. family first
64. everybody makes mistakes. try not to date them
65. if you’ve got a choice between making a scene and making an exit, find the nearest door
66. nice guys don’t finish last. quitters do
67. don’t chase; replace
68. the assumptions you make about someone should never be based on what you’ve heard
69. if you’re the only one in the room with your bro and his girl, leave
70. ignoring somebody’s phone call or text and then posting on twitter is pretty much asking them to bitch you out
71. the quiet ones are the kinkiest
72. don’t let your relationship problems fuck up everybody’s night
73. if you let a bro borrow some cash and never see him again, it was money well spent
74. always greet your bro’s new girl with, “so this is who you’re always telling me about!” regardless of if you’re heard of her
75. don’t sleep with anything you don’t want to wake up next to
76. calm down and walk away. sometimes it’s better to let your ego take hits, rather than your face
77. it always sucks to hear, but: move.the.fuck.on.bro.
78. driving is cool. drinking is whatever. doing both is never okay
79. someone who talks shit with you will most likely be the person that talks shit about you
80. a friend will tell you what you want to hear. a bro will tell you what you need to hear
81. the internet is not a place to have an argument
82. you either make shit happen, watch shit happen or not know what fucking happened
83. her adding you on facebook doesn’t automatically mean she wants to screw you
84. “ex” is short for “example”. your ex is an example of someone who isn’t good for you
85. apologizing doesn’t mean you’re wrong. it’s a bros way of saying “i care about this bromance more than my ego”
86. no one gives a shit how trashed you got last night. shut the fuck up about it.
87. if you talk shit about your friends, you eventually won’t have any to talk shit about
88. being passive-aggressive never helps anything, unless you wanted to seem like a dick head
89. karma is a bitch. specially if you are
90. clothing is optional. deodorant is not
91. i swear there will be other girls in your life
92. the only acceptable reason to let anyone tell you when or what to shave is if they’re putting their  mouth there immediately afterwards.
93. know the difference between affection and pity. both when giving and receiving
94. would you like your bro to date your ex? Exactly.
95. as soon as you realize that you fucked up, admit it. it’ll make things ten times easier if you do
96. posting depressing song lyrics on facebook or twitter will make people want to punch you
97. treat your beliefs like you treat your penis. be proud of it, but don’t shove it down people’s throats
98. if you can’t change your situation, change your attitude
99. if she cheated with you, she’ll cheat on you
100. never hit your girl. ever.

Takotsubo Cardiomyopathy : a.k.a The Broken Heart Syndrome

Another day at the office. A triple espresso along with the internet is my usual daily ritual before i start work. Stumble Upon is where i head every morning. Today was no different. I stumbled upon an article discussing men and the different ways they deal with a broken heart. Interesting topic that so many men avoid. Here’s my take. A lot of the below is inspired by the article itself. I’m a 29-year-old man who turns 30 in June. I have had my fair share of experiences with women. I have been through the good ones and the bad ones. Some people who don’t know me very well call me a man whore, while others who are close to me call me a hopeless romantic. Regardless of what you think i am, rest assure that i surely couldn’t care less. Not just because you’re simply full of shit yourself, but because i only care for the opinions of those that care for mine. Growing up, my closest friends were always girls. Maybe it’s because women are always more willing to listen and are always more understanding than most men. I mean if I were to go to a random man friend who I’d consider to be close enough to talk to and complain to him about a broken heart, he’d eventually get bored and call me gay. Trust me, I’ve been there and I have been called gay/fag/homo as a joke and instead of getting advise on how to deal with the situation – i got told off indirectly. It’s just a mans way of avoiding such emotional closeness. I don’t know if it’s because men really think its gay to be heart-broken or if it’s because men in general have a problem admitting emotional weakness. Arab men are usually portrayed as warriors! The “tough guy” image always seems to surround them hence they find it very difficult admitting to any emotional hurt that they’d be going through. The thing is people under-estimate the power of a heart-break. According to reports, its men, not women, who tend to suffer more after a break up. Why? Simple. Women are more likely to confide into close friends or family members talking through their emotions and feelings, where as men are more likely to confide in a bottle of whiskey/vodka “if they are drinkers”, gym or just go out and pretend not to care. I’ve been through break ups. Back when i was a heavy drinker, i did confide in bottles and bottles of alcohol. I had my moments of madness where I’d wake up next to girls I don’t even know. But that’s long gone now and heart-break no longer pushes me to such disgusting behavior. Breaking things and throwing tantrums at the punching bag at gym is the way for me now. Or I can just be “gay” and open up to my fellow-man.

The reason why men don’t admit such things is not because there is no one to listen. No sir. I have plenty of male friends around me that i could complain to every day. God knows they are willing to listen. But there is just so much that a man can tell the other and i always found myself confiding into the females around me. My mother. My female friends. Even females that i barely know. For some reason, my stories were always more interesting to them. Why i personally think it’s harder to confide in my male friends? I think there’s some sort of genetic coding that prevents men from getting all emotional around each other. Imagine a group of 4-5 men, getting together, and pouring their hearts out. That’s just… mm… gay? Over the past decade, psychologists, neuroscientists and researchers alike have shed fascinating new light on heartbreak. The forces that bind 2 people are powerful, but those that split them apart are the most powerful of all. The end of a long-term relationship, and some times an intense short-term relationship, can be very traumatic for a man. The flood of stress hormones that comes along such an event can make the heart weak. This is called “Takotsubo Cardiomyoptahy : Broken Heart Syndrome“. I’m serious, click the link and read all about it.

Before any heart-break, there are 3 steps that a man takes before falling in love with a girl.

Number 1? Lust. The most primitive of the 3 steps. Fueled by testosterone, a man will lust over the way a girl looks mostly. There will be no standards when it comes to personality and/or emotions. Its pure horniness!

Number 2? Attraction. Romance. This is when a man becomes selective. It’s the kind of drive that pushes the man to pursue that one person and avoid time and resource wasting on useless prospects. This helps u keep your eye on the prize and then go for it!

Number 3? Attachment. It is when a man grows fond of the person he is with. It’s a gradual process really. It starts off with hanging out with the person. Getting to know her better. According to science, attachment is triggered by 2 hormones that flood the brain during intimacy: QXYTOCIN (also known as the “Cuddle Compound”) and VASOPRESSIN, a tension relieving chemical that is released during the act of intimacy.

Let me share a personal experience with you. Lets refer to the girl as X. The day that X ended things, i took it badly. Severe reactions of dismay and utter disgust were present. In the days, weeks and even months that followed, i found it difficult to deal with the break up. I became very moody. I’d argue with anyone over anything. When scenes of X being touched by another man played in my head, I would be over come with rage and thoughts of revenge. I’d start plotting evil ways to ruin her life. Later I’d find myself reminiscing of our sweetest memories together. I’d remember how vulnerable she was and the thoughts of comforting her will over take any thought of hate i had. I’d sometimes sit and list her imperfections to myself only to come to a conclusion that it were those imperfections were the things that made her more human to me. I was trapped inside my own mind. I would speak to myself and I could not shut myself up. I wanted silence but that was never there. On days that I would feel powerful and completely immune to X, i’d suddenly find myself in a situation where id be strongly whisked back into that whirlwind. A whiff of her perfume. A song on the radio. A piece of clothing that she has bought me. Any of these things would pull me back down.

Then came the attempt at replacing X with other women. No matter how perfect the woman was, that woman was not X. I’d find myself shooting that woman down in my head. Picking out her negatives and throwing away all positives until i find myself growing disgusted of her and walking away. I’d also openly admit that it was my fault so i don’t look like a total dick head. In time, I learnt to deal with the hurt that was caused by the departure of X. I now look back and smile most of the time. Sometimes it still hurts, but the thoughts of strangling her have now dispersed.

Romantic rejections usually trigger a certain state of mind in a man. Actually 2.  First comes the “not giving up” state of mind. A man’s brain is flooded with extra DOPAMINE & NOREPINEPHRINE. This leaves a man more determined and obsessed to regain his beloved one, making it difficult for a man to give up and move on. According to researchers, a scan of certain volunteers who were madly in love shows an activity similar to that of getting a cocaine hit. In other words, a man with a broken heart turns into a junky craving a hit. Then comes the “I give up” state of mind. It’s when your brain does not get the fix it needs so your body aligns itself with the idea that this FIX will never come. This is when heart-break sets in for a man and he realises that it’s over. I have recently picked up my phone and dialed X’s number, but i never did call her. Something stops me. I dunno what it was. Yes, the loss of her love was unimaginably painful, but I sometimes realize that i could have lost much more.

How to get over a heart-break? There are several ways to do so but there is one rule that rules it all. The “NO CONTACT” rule. It’s really simple:  Severe all ties with the girl. Treat it like an addiction. No calls. No msgs. No checking her FaceBook page. No going places that you might see her. No doing anything related to her. Also, no “let’s be friends” bullshit. If she wants to be friends, say “yeah sure. in 10 years. Now i need my space.” Whether your healing process will take 10 weeks, 10 months, or even 10 years, exorcise everything to do with the girl from your life or else its useless. Its like trying to quit cocaine while staring at endless lines of that drug placed right in front of you. Also, stay away from alcohol. It is a depressive drug. And it will only add fuel to the fire. Trust me. I KNOW. Studies also show that exercising with a friend or a group is an excellent heartbreak balm. It releases chemicals such as OXYTOCIN and VASOPRESSIN. These chemicals solidify social ties and provide a comforting sense of connectivity to others.  Again, trust me on this one because i know! Other ways may include a new partner. It doesn’t necessarily need to be a true relationship. It could be strictly physical. Although be warned, experts say that this isn’t always helpful. I think its because that during the “not giving up” state, no other woman would be attractive to a man. Well, at least not to me. Regardless of all research and all that has been discovered by science, each man deals with it his own way. You can follow every possible advice available. You can see all shrinks around. It may not work for you. But someday you will find your self at a stage where it is all behind you. Hours will pass without the thought of that girl who broke your heart. Yes, some things will still remind you of her. Yes, It will hurt when you see pictures of her with someone else. Several things will trigger the pain,  but in time it will feel different. The wound will still hurt, but it wont hurt as much. Sure you loved her, but your brain played a big role in it as well.

It has been said that the opposite of love is not hate but indifference. So become indifferent. During a heart-break, a man is usually convinced that he will be nothing but damaged goods. But what a man fails to realize is that as he is emerging from his sadness, he becomes wiser and is filled with more empathy. It is an experience. You live and you learn. I know i have.

#BaselMeetsMetallica

Basel Anabtawi, A God amongst us humans, is a DIE HARD Metallica fan. Really. Die Hard. Obsessed.  Crazy. Not Normal. Psycho.

Basel is adamant to meet Metallica and we, his friends, will do all we can to make it happen!

This shit is serious folks. This shit is very serious!!!

Twitter went insane on that day.
#baselmeetsmetallica reached up to the 3rd most trending topic in the UAE on Sunday!!

People from all over the globe gave him their support and now its time for you to do the same!

Below are several ways that you can help in making Basel’s dream come true:

“Think Flash” kinda blew us off. But who the hell cares??? POST ON THEIR FACEBOOK PAGE! Ask them to help Basel! Hell, DEMAAAAAAAAAAAND that they help Basel!! NOW!

There’s also a special page on Facebook for our special friend Basel who wants to make a special dream come true! Click here and LIKE the page and help spread it out to all your friends!! Post it to your wall. Post it to your friends wall. Send it to that loser friend who spends all his/her time on the internet and ask him/her to spread it all over the place!!

Last but not least, click this link and then click on the HEART! YES! The Heart!! It’ll only take a minute of your time!

MAKE THIS SHIT HAPPEN!!!! HELP BASEL!!! COME ONNNNNNNN!!!!

PS: Here’s How Flash Missed an Excellent Opportunity by the Mighty Joe Akkawi!